When I was about twelve, I tried to play Cranium with my great-grandmother. She was probably about a hundred and thirty years old.
She had Alzheimer's. This meant that it was hard to do something as basic as hold a coherent conversation with her. But somehow I thought that Cranium would be a good idea. After all, I was raised on uplifting chapter books and children's made-for-TV movies, where by the end, formerly wheelchair-bound characters would run marathons and seemingly mute characters would give inspirational speeches. So Cranium didn't seem like too big of a leap.
It was. I set up the board, gathered a few family members around, divvied us up into teams, and tried to explain the rules. Meanwhile, my great-grandmother spoke about the last time she'd been to Long John Silvers.
My aunt turned and looked into my eyes.
"I don't think this is going to work," she said. Somehow it was gentle and firm all at once.
Disappointed, I packed up the board.
We drove her back to the retirement home some time after that. I was silent, still a little mad that my defy-the-odds scene didn't even make it past the establishing shot. But she talked the whole way back.
I think the moral of the story is that you shouldn't try to play Cranium with your great-grandmother who has Alzheimer's. Or at least you shouldn't expect much.
And yet somehow I feel as if I'd just had a chance to explain the rules, she would have totally kicked my ass. And I would have loved it.
10/31/2011
10/16/2011
On the iPad (Written on the iPad)
Q: Hey. Is that an iPad?
A: What? Oh – yeah. It is.
Q: But don't you have a laptop? And an iPod touch?
A: What?
Q: It just seems kind of redundant.
A: I can see that, but I think it's good. See, my laptop just went out of warranty about a month ago. And it still works, but after it broke down and had to be repaired a couple of months ago, I got kind of paranoid about carrying it around. If it breaks down now, I'm shit outta luck. So the laptop stays home and this iPad takes its place.
Q: So you're using your laptop as a desktop and the iPad as a laptop.
A: Now that you put it that way I can see how you think it's weird. But yeah.
Q: That seems kind of complicated, though, trying to use your iPad as a computer. Because the iPad's basically a big iPod touch, right?
A: I guess that's true in a semantic sense – like, that is not a false statement. But I guess that's also kind of like saying that a truck is just a big car. Also true, but there's a whole bunch of stuff that you can do with a truck that you probably wouldn't want to do with a car. Like, you wouldn't want to move to a new apartment in a car.
Q: Yeah, probably not. Unless it's a very large car and a very small apartment.
A: I thought we established that a truck is a large car.
Q: Whatever. But okay. iPad equals big iPod touch but doesn't. So what can you do with an iPad that you can't do with a iPod touch?
A: Most of the apps are basically the same. It's just a whole bunch more screen real estate. And that doesn't seem like that big of a big deal, really, but when you, say, try to browse the internet on an iPad versus an iPhone, then you notice how big of a difference a larger screen makes. It's like the difference between reading a book and a pamphlet. Not to diss the iPod touch or anything, but doing stuff I do on a regular basis – like checking my RSS feeds or watching YouTube videos – that's way more fun and straightforward on an iPad than on an iPod touch.
Q: Huh. So that's it? A bigger screen?
A: Well, it's faster too – significantly more powerful than my iPod. So I can do stuff like record songs in GarageBand, which I think my iPod wouldn't be able to handle. Apps just load on this thing in a way that you wouldn't believe. It's actually faster than my laptop sometimes.
Q: Wait wait. The iPad's processor is – what, a gig fast? So you must have an ancient laptop.
A: I guess three years is ancient by computer standards, but it's actually pretty good –something like two gigahertz and four gigs of ram. Whereas I think the iPad has one gigahertz – like you said – and 512 megabytes of RAM.
Q: So you said that it's faster than your computer, but now you're saying that it's slower.
A: Yeah...that's confusing. I guess what I mean is that the iPad is less powerful than my computer. But in spite of that, it seems faster. That's because the way that the iPad and its operating system works is different from a Mac. For instance, multitasking on this thing is possible, but it's a lot less multitask-y (for lack of a better term) than it is on a Mac. So if I'm working on the iPad, I can only do one thing at a time. And I think of that as a positive thing.
Q: Eh. I like to have a whole bunch of windows open at once.
A: Sometimes I need to do that too, but those moments are only when I'm doing something a little more on the complex side, like editing video or Photoshop stuff. So when I need to do that, I go to my computer. But otherwise, I'm pretty content with singletasking. Because it's so easy to get distracted on a computer, but on an iPad, since apps always take up the whole screen, getting distracted takes a whole lot more effort. Which is awesome for writing.
Q: You write on that thing? On the touchscreen keyboard?
A: Oh hell no. The touchscreen keyboard is okay for putting together short emails or taking notes in class, but if I tried to write something longer on it, autocorrect would probably drive me nuts. So I ended up buying a Bluetooth keyboard on eBay, and that was like forty bucks. If I want to write, I prop up the iPad with the Smart Cover, turn on the keyboard, and just write.
Q: That's actually kind of cool.
A: Yeah. It's actually how I'm writing this post right now.
Q: I know that. I'm talking to you right now.
A: Then how did you not notice the keyboard to begin with?
Q: You're kind of in control of what I say. I'm not a real person; I'm a foil you invented for this post. Like you're trying to play Plato writing a tech piece.
A: You're getting kind of self-referential here. Like you've read too much postmodern stuff.
Q: I could say the same thing about you.
A: Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could.
A: What? Oh – yeah. It is.
Q: But don't you have a laptop? And an iPod touch?
A: What?
Q: It just seems kind of redundant.
A: I can see that, but I think it's good. See, my laptop just went out of warranty about a month ago. And it still works, but after it broke down and had to be repaired a couple of months ago, I got kind of paranoid about carrying it around. If it breaks down now, I'm shit outta luck. So the laptop stays home and this iPad takes its place.
Q: So you're using your laptop as a desktop and the iPad as a laptop.
A: Now that you put it that way I can see how you think it's weird. But yeah.
Q: That seems kind of complicated, though, trying to use your iPad as a computer. Because the iPad's basically a big iPod touch, right?
A: I guess that's true in a semantic sense – like, that is not a false statement. But I guess that's also kind of like saying that a truck is just a big car. Also true, but there's a whole bunch of stuff that you can do with a truck that you probably wouldn't want to do with a car. Like, you wouldn't want to move to a new apartment in a car.
Q: Yeah, probably not. Unless it's a very large car and a very small apartment.
A: I thought we established that a truck is a large car.
Q: Whatever. But okay. iPad equals big iPod touch but doesn't. So what can you do with an iPad that you can't do with a iPod touch?
A: Most of the apps are basically the same. It's just a whole bunch more screen real estate. And that doesn't seem like that big of a big deal, really, but when you, say, try to browse the internet on an iPad versus an iPhone, then you notice how big of a difference a larger screen makes. It's like the difference between reading a book and a pamphlet. Not to diss the iPod touch or anything, but doing stuff I do on a regular basis – like checking my RSS feeds or watching YouTube videos – that's way more fun and straightforward on an iPad than on an iPod touch.
Q: Huh. So that's it? A bigger screen?
A: Well, it's faster too – significantly more powerful than my iPod. So I can do stuff like record songs in GarageBand, which I think my iPod wouldn't be able to handle. Apps just load on this thing in a way that you wouldn't believe. It's actually faster than my laptop sometimes.
Q: Wait wait. The iPad's processor is – what, a gig fast? So you must have an ancient laptop.
A: I guess three years is ancient by computer standards, but it's actually pretty good –something like two gigahertz and four gigs of ram. Whereas I think the iPad has one gigahertz – like you said – and 512 megabytes of RAM.
Q: So you said that it's faster than your computer, but now you're saying that it's slower.
A: Yeah...that's confusing. I guess what I mean is that the iPad is less powerful than my computer. But in spite of that, it seems faster. That's because the way that the iPad and its operating system works is different from a Mac. For instance, multitasking on this thing is possible, but it's a lot less multitask-y (for lack of a better term) than it is on a Mac. So if I'm working on the iPad, I can only do one thing at a time. And I think of that as a positive thing.
Q: Eh. I like to have a whole bunch of windows open at once.
A: Sometimes I need to do that too, but those moments are only when I'm doing something a little more on the complex side, like editing video or Photoshop stuff. So when I need to do that, I go to my computer. But otherwise, I'm pretty content with singletasking. Because it's so easy to get distracted on a computer, but on an iPad, since apps always take up the whole screen, getting distracted takes a whole lot more effort. Which is awesome for writing.
Q: You write on that thing? On the touchscreen keyboard?
A: Oh hell no. The touchscreen keyboard is okay for putting together short emails or taking notes in class, but if I tried to write something longer on it, autocorrect would probably drive me nuts. So I ended up buying a Bluetooth keyboard on eBay, and that was like forty bucks. If I want to write, I prop up the iPad with the Smart Cover, turn on the keyboard, and just write.
Q: That's actually kind of cool.
A: Yeah. It's actually how I'm writing this post right now.
Q: I know that. I'm talking to you right now.
A: Then how did you not notice the keyboard to begin with?
Q: You're kind of in control of what I say. I'm not a real person; I'm a foil you invented for this post. Like you're trying to play Plato writing a tech piece.
A: You're getting kind of self-referential here. Like you've read too much postmodern stuff.
Q: I could say the same thing about you.
A: Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could.
10/05/2011
Steve Jobs
The products were wonderful — there's no doubt he changed my life with those. But it's not the technology that changed me in the long run.
It was the lessons I learned from him. Attention to detail. The importance of making connections between seemingly disparate ideas. The beauty and wonder inherent in simplicity. And the ways that a conviction that what you believe you're doing is really, truly insanely great — how *that* will affect you, the people around you, and the world.
He may be gone. One day the device I type this on — the device he helped create — will be gone. One day you and I will be gone.
But the mark that he left on my life, my perspective — that's indelible.
Thank you, Steve.
It was the lessons I learned from him. Attention to detail. The importance of making connections between seemingly disparate ideas. The beauty and wonder inherent in simplicity. And the ways that a conviction that what you believe you're doing is really, truly insanely great — how *that* will affect you, the people around you, and the world.
He may be gone. One day the device I type this on — the device he helped create — will be gone. One day you and I will be gone.
But the mark that he left on my life, my perspective — that's indelible.
Thank you, Steve.
10/01/2011
Out of It
I was sick for most of the past week. If you asked me how I spent most of my time that week, I'd probably say something like, "Being sick." And then you'd probably laugh and then I'd smile to show you that it's okay that you're laughing. And then you'd get quiet and figure out that I was serious when I said that.
It started when I was walking around on Sunday. Around noon I think. I was downtown after picking up some library books. I'd been feeling really good that morning – it was just one of those days where you get up and your body and mind go, "Alright! Let's do this!" And then all of a sudden, my body went, "Oh yeah, wait – you're sick." This tickle in my throat started growing, getting more and more intense.
So the first thing I did was to track down the nearest Walgreens for some Zicam. I kind of swear by the stuff; I just have to pick up a bottle whenever I feel the slightest twinge of something that might make my immune system turn me into a mucus-producing machine. I think it helps, but I guess I don't totally know that, since it's been a very long time since I've tried to brave any sort of sickness without a bunch of zinc in my body.
And yet I ended up sick for the whole week. Don't get me wrong. I got better and better every day, and if it weren't for a bunch of sleep, vitamin C and elderberry-based stuff, I'm not sure if my recovery would have been as fast. But I guess you can't stop an illness from happening even when you have a bit of forewarning.
Then the dizziness came. A little after lunch, I think it was. It felt like every surface I stepped on was re-arranging itself. It was like I was trying to walk on those stairs from the Harry Potter books and movies. I basically fell down in my bed right after my trek home. And that was the day.
I got up every few hours to take the cold remedy stuff when necessary. And somehow, that's all that I did for about 36 hours. That time was just a weird hazy cycle of sleep, fluid intake, and fluid outtake. In fact it makes my head feel a little light just thinking about that.
For the sake of recovery and not contaminating the rest of the world, I only went to one of my classes that week. I think that was a good move on my part. Except now I've got this big pile of stuff to do – stuff that should have been done about a week ago alongside stuff that needs to be done in a few days. So I've got a lot of catching up to do.
And that catching up isn't just with school. When you spend a week doing nothing more than lying down and thinking about how awesome it is to be healthy, you kind of forget how daily life goes. So I kind of feel like I need to get caught up on life, too. I know that there's something kind of melodramatic about how that sounds – maybe that's because "get caught up on life" sounds like "get high on life"? I don't know.
In any case I think that applies to writing too. And that's why I'm writing this. This is an attempt to get back into the swing of things. And therefore it makes sense that this whole post feels like it was written by someone totally out of the swing of things.
It started when I was walking around on Sunday. Around noon I think. I was downtown after picking up some library books. I'd been feeling really good that morning – it was just one of those days where you get up and your body and mind go, "Alright! Let's do this!" And then all of a sudden, my body went, "Oh yeah, wait – you're sick." This tickle in my throat started growing, getting more and more intense.
So the first thing I did was to track down the nearest Walgreens for some Zicam. I kind of swear by the stuff; I just have to pick up a bottle whenever I feel the slightest twinge of something that might make my immune system turn me into a mucus-producing machine. I think it helps, but I guess I don't totally know that, since it's been a very long time since I've tried to brave any sort of sickness without a bunch of zinc in my body.
And yet I ended up sick for the whole week. Don't get me wrong. I got better and better every day, and if it weren't for a bunch of sleep, vitamin C and elderberry-based stuff, I'm not sure if my recovery would have been as fast. But I guess you can't stop an illness from happening even when you have a bit of forewarning.
Then the dizziness came. A little after lunch, I think it was. It felt like every surface I stepped on was re-arranging itself. It was like I was trying to walk on those stairs from the Harry Potter books and movies. I basically fell down in my bed right after my trek home. And that was the day.
I got up every few hours to take the cold remedy stuff when necessary. And somehow, that's all that I did for about 36 hours. That time was just a weird hazy cycle of sleep, fluid intake, and fluid outtake. In fact it makes my head feel a little light just thinking about that.
For the sake of recovery and not contaminating the rest of the world, I only went to one of my classes that week. I think that was a good move on my part. Except now I've got this big pile of stuff to do – stuff that should have been done about a week ago alongside stuff that needs to be done in a few days. So I've got a lot of catching up to do.
And that catching up isn't just with school. When you spend a week doing nothing more than lying down and thinking about how awesome it is to be healthy, you kind of forget how daily life goes. So I kind of feel like I need to get caught up on life, too. I know that there's something kind of melodramatic about how that sounds – maybe that's because "get caught up on life" sounds like "get high on life"? I don't know.
In any case I think that applies to writing too. And that's why I'm writing this. This is an attempt to get back into the swing of things. And therefore it makes sense that this whole post feels like it was written by someone totally out of the swing of things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)