Today while I was taking my sister to church, we made a discovery.

You don't know how badly I wanted to take it. As of picking her up twenty minutes ago, it's still there.

22 days until us seniors' official last day. That's counting weekends. I'm spending a fair amount of my time volunteering at the Clive Library. I need to complete 20 hours of volunteer work somewhere in order to pass my Government class/graduate. I have completed 5. Did I mention the project is due May 9th?

Let me show you how I am feeling in line graph form.

I still manage to find less time to sleep and more time to read. Last night I finished Watchmen, a piece of literature selected by Time Magazine as one of the best 100 English language novels to be published since 1923. It's about the line between good and evil, superheroes, vigilantism, nuclear apocalypse, and so many more things. It's also a graphic novel - the first graphic novel I've ever read.

It's kind of complex, but it's an enjoyable read. Yes, it may not be a "real" book, but Watchmen makes great use of the graphic novel format. There's some really neat symbolism hidden amongst both the words and the pictures. There's so much of it that I don't think I caught nearly half of it on my first reading.

In summary: Watchmen proved to me that comic books aren't just for nerds. They can be for literary nerds, too.

Here is something sad.

Here is something awesome.

Yesterday's Garfield Minus Garfield might be my most favorite ever. My sister didn't think it was very funny until I explained how I first read it - as if he was talking to the salad.

Speaking of salad, salad makes me think of leaves, and leaves make me think of my new favorite questionable children's book, It's Just a Plant: A Children's Story of Marijuana. It's surprisingly tastefully written (though many wouldn't agree with the message) - from what I've read. The free preview unfortunately ends at a really fascinating part of the book, and because of that, I'm somewhat tempted to try to find a copy so I can see how the rest of the book goes.

Today Josh was reading Farenheit 451 when a fire alarm went off at Central. We all headed out of the building and Josh carried it with him.
"It'd be really ironic if I left this in the building," he said.

Flight of the Conchords released their first full-length studio album today.

The Fratellis have (finally) dropped a name and release date for their upcoming album. It'll be called Here We Stand and will be released June 9.

But that's not all! The album's first single, Mistress Mabel, will be released about a month from now on May 26. You may not be able to download it yet, but that doesn't mean you can't listen to it now.

And so the single itself. It's not bad. But it's not particularly good either. I kind of like the piano and the "breakdown" in the middle, but not enough to redeem the entire song. 

I might even go as far as to call it disposable. It's one of those songs that I might download, put on my iPod, listen to for a day or two, and then forget about completely. It might pop up on shuffle once every couple of years, but that'd be it.

Maybe my expectations are just too high. Costello Music, The Fratellis' debut album, will almost certainly be remembered as one of this decade's notable rock albums. The songs are consistently catchy and totally hummable. Their sound is fantastic too - imagine if a Brit pop band from the 60s got mashed up with a Brit rock band from today. It's perfect rock/pop; it feels familiar, but it's not too familiar. So The Fratellis have set the bar pretty high. Mistress Mabel does not touch this bar.

The point is this: if Here We Stand is even half as good as Costello Music, I'll be content. And even though the album's first single sounds just sub-par, I still plan on buying the entire album as soon as it comes out.

I just hope The Fratellis aren't one of those bands. Not a one-hit wonder band, but an even more frustrating label: a band with the "nowhere to go but down" curse.

It's been a long time since I've uploaded anything to YouTube. So here's a video that both Jordan and my sister starred in that has aired on Channel 12.

Fun fact: though this has aired on local TV and dozens of people have seen it, I don't think Jordan has yet had the opportunity to watch it.

Fun fact 2: I recorded the narration for this project at 11:30 at night during Hell Week for the last Fall Show. I can hear the tiredness in my voice.

Today was the last day of the play. It was an especially weird way to officially end my VHS Drama career - Nick, our lead, was very sick with the flu throughout the performance. 

At about intermission things got a little tense. Henry, Nick's understudy, was actually sitting backstage with a light and a script, ready to jump in if necessary. Luckily, it didn't come to that. Props to Nick for soldiering on.

I spent the last minute trying to think of a clever way to tie this into today's post, but I'm drawing a blank. So I'll just bluntly give you three words: "He's dead, Jim."

While we're on the theme of questionable commercials, here's a lovely commercial from the 1960s advertising Jello and its effects on (and I quote) "Chinese-type baby".

Today our Film and Radio class took a trip across the street to WHO Channel 13's studios. The most surprising thing about the whole trip was how few people were actually in the on-air studio: two. One was the anchor. The other was a guy monitoring a bunch of pre-positioned and very expensive cameras.

Speaking of television, Boing Boing recently linked to a hilarious old commercial. The great thing about it is that the man in it isn't just sexist; he's genuinely mean.

Today's post is about cats and theremins.

For those of you unfamiliar with the theremin - it's one of the first electronic instruments ever created. It's also one of the first (and still one of the few) instruments that requires no physical contact in order to play it. The theremin has a particularly weird sound to it - sort of like a singing electric ghost. (If you're still confused, watch a few seconds of this.)

You are probably familiar with cats. I won't go there.

Anyway, two clips. Here's a video of a cat playing a theremin. I'm not sure why, but I found it hilarious.

Clip two: a man playing the theremin with a cat. What's happening in the video isn't really funny (in fact, it's kind of mean to that cat), but the man in this video manages to be both frightening and awkward in a mildly entertaining way.

That last clip becomes ten times more surreal if you watch it without sound.

I've got a weird habit - or should I say quirk.

I've got this quirk. Sometimes when I recall an instance when I've done something dumb, embarrassing or regretful, I will cringe. More likely, I'll make a little noise, may it be a sigh, maybe a condescending hum. Sometimes it's noises that sound like the worst beatboxing ever. And then, immediately after making one of these sounds, I'll regret having made a sound - so I'm inadvertently regretting regretting.

The strange thing is that it's not from dwelling on these events. It happens when I see something that even slightly reminds me of a particularly awkward memory. I'd dub it mini-Tourettes, but given the quiet nature of these sounds, it's nowhere near as intrusive as I'd imagine Tourettes to be.

Perhaps my subconscious is just trying to look out for me. Perhaps it's just saying "Don't be dumb" in the most passive aggressive way it possibly could. Look! A 7/11 it might say. Doesn't 7/11 remind you of seventh grade? Remember that one time when... 

A good way to curb that icky feeling after embarrassing yourself or engaging in an awkward situation: ask yourself, "Would I have rather shit myself?" In most cases (accidentally identifying a stranger as someone you know, Freudian slips, cursing in the vicinity of certain authority figures), the answer is no.

However, in some cases,  (being responsible for an accident which claims the lives of hundreds, accidentally shitting yourself, accidentally shitting on someone else) this strategy will not work.

Facebook shows contextual ads based on your profile and friends.

Two minutes ago an ad with the headline "Men Seeking Men?" appeared.

Conclusion: Facebook thinks I'm gay.

I saw "Run, Fatboy, Run" yesterday. Sometimes I do little reviews of movies I've seen. This time around, I stumbled across a review that, in a paragraph, basically encapsulates my feelings about the film. (Verdict: it has its moments, but not enough moments to make a really solid movie. For me to say anything else seems redundant.)

Except for one note: the landlord character, Mr. Goshdashtidar (played by Harish Patel) is just as entertaining as Dylan Moran's character and performance.

I know a few of you saw this film and really liked it. I've tried my best to explain why I didn't; care to explain why you did?

Here are three books I've read recently. (By the way - you're welcome to borrow any of them from me.)

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby: This one's about a thirty-something guy who owns a failing record shop as he deals with a rough breakup. All the while he muses about his life, music, and the weirdness of being social.

I know, my description makes it sound like a chick flick in book form - and in a way it kind of is. High Fidelity is sort of a chick flick book for guys - and (amazingly) I don't mean this at all in a bad way. Hornby's book is funny, relatable, and honest without being whiny. Highly recommended.

Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organization by Clay Shirky: I picked this one as recommended by Cory Docotrow of Boing Boing. It takes a look at how groups large and small form, function and fail (or succeed) and how the internet is making this process faster and easier. If that description interested you at all, you'll probably find it insightful.

Everything Bad is Good For You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter by Steven Johnson: Johnson takes on TV, film, and video games and attempts to prove that pop culture has never been so complex. I'm not very far (I've only read a bit of the section on video games), but what I've read so far is entertaining and impressive. I actually bought this one after reading 30 pages at the library. So far, very highly recommended - but more on this one soon.

ZeFrank linked to this not too long ago. It's a neat program called Phun. 

Phun is a free 2D physics sandbox application. You can draw shapes and structures that have different weight, add motors to them, mess with gravity - you can even liquify objects. 

It's a fun way to waste some time. Think Google Sketchup meets flinging stuff around.

Let me warn you before I begin typing: I'm very tired and you know how those posts usually end up going.

This was one of the strangest weekends of my life.

It started Friday when Jordan and I left around 4 for Ames. We were going to perform a show as The Mimes. Concerns at the time: we were not sure who exactly was going to show up to perform with us and we had a very slim idea as to what our stage space would be like.

Oh yeah. We also didn't have a show. We had about five hours to make one.

Despite this, everything came together. We performed for a crowd whose reactions ranged from entertained to confused to "hey, what's that over there?" The acoustics were awful, the board limited us from using a live mic and music at the same time, and our stage was a plywood board barely a foot off the ground. But we knew what we were doing. Not bad. Bizarre. But not bad.

Jordan and I hastily changed into our civilian garb and began our two and a half hour drive to Marion, Iowa, where the Cedar Rapids Independent Film Festival was taking place. A good portion of the drive was spent listening to the Spring Show's warm-up CD. The other good portion was spent listening to 40s music from Jordan's iPod.

A (thankfully small) portion was spent driving past the Quaker Oats plant in Cedar Rapids. In cause you're unfamiliar: this smells like awful. Steps to re-creating this smell:

1. Gather everything natural in this world.
2. Burn it.

We arrived at the hotel at about 3 in the morning. Sleep was nice, albeit limited, seeing that massive amounts of caffeine was circulating through my bloodstream.

(Side note: does caffeine circulate through the bloodstream?)

The first showing of our sketch-turned-short-film, Taffy, took place at 9 in the morning. This conversation took place after Jordan had pressed the snooze button a third time:

Jordan: Do you wanna start getting ready?

Thomas: (low, sleepy, mournful grunt)

Jordan: I'm tired. Fuck this.

Researchers may tell you that an extra two or three hours of sleep means nothing in the long run. They know nothing.

We drove to the movie theater, assisted by TomTom the GPS (also referred to by his Spanish name, which is phonetically "Hey-Pey-Essay"). TomTom's directions were 95% accurate. The inaccurate 5% concerned where the theater actually was.

We watched a series of movies that ranged from the fantastic to the sub-par. Among our favorites included "We Are Theo", a 20 minute film made by some very imaginative Fairfielders. You can watch it by clicking on the above link.

Also awesome was "End of the Sawdust Trail", a short silent film made to look as if it was created in the early 20th century. If I hadn't been told this film was made only a couple years ago, I'd have thought it was an authentic silent film. Plus, it's very entertaining and bizarre.

Okay, completely unrelated side note: I was invited to a Facebook group advertising Ford, called "Ford Drives U". I joined just to say, "In Soviet Russia..."

Anyway, we watched a bunch of films. Then our film - Taffy - showed.

Jordan sums it up pretty well on his blog, but I'll reiterate; the theater was packed (I'm not sure why) and when the jokes dropped, they hit hard. A great, very warm reception for a film that I would never expect to get a showing at a festival.

We drove around for a half-hour looking for a non-chain restaurant to have dinner at. We got lost and settled for Applebee's.

We stopped back at the theater for the awards ceremony. There we heard the best acceptance speech ever - a speech I tried to transcribe as soon as I got back to the hotel.

"Thank you all so much for supporting this film and supporting this festival. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

I'm...uh... a little out of it right now - as many of you probably are. See, I actually live in Chicago, and now I'm moving to L.A. Like, I'm actually in the process of moving right now. This is my pit stop between Chicago and L.A. And I'm a little frazzled - not just because I'm moving, but I'm a little worried because my cats have been sitting in a U-HAUL for hours now.

Thanks again."

I nearly gave the man a standing ovation.

We got back to the room and I slept a very good sleep. It was one of those sleeps so good that when you wake up, you're confused because you're not in your own bed at home. (Not to be confused with the "post drunken shenanigans" sleep - also very deep, I'm told.)

The next morning (today) we stopped by the Quality Inn for our critiquing session. We spoke for about ten minutes. The gist of it: "You guys aren't bad, but you aren't awesome either. Just keep making films."

We drove down I-80 and stopped at Williamsburg for food at Arby's. This is where a strange man who looked like a perverted Mario offered us candy. (I should probably note that he worked there.)

"Candy for kids?" he said. He kept his eyes on Jordan.

"Uh..." Jordan said.

"Yes, please," I said. He still kept looking at Jordan. Jordan took this as his cue to take a piece.

"You want more?" the man asked. I steadily kept taking candy hoping it'd make him go away.

"I'm good, thanks," Jordan said.

"You want more?" the man said again. It was less like a question and more like a command that just so happened to have a question mark behind it.

"I'm fine, thank you," Jordan said. I am still taking candy - not that it matters. The man is still staring at Jordan.

Suddenly, the man contorts his face in such a way that his gigantic smile is even broader. "Not too much," he says. With that he was gone.

The rest of the drive home was fairly uneventful. I got home and slept.

The places in life a dumb joke can take you.

In the news today...

...Baker's Square's parent company, Vicorp Restaurants, has declared bankruptcy. Sad - but not too sad. I like Perkins better.

...and Valley had a lockdown and drug search. I arrived late to school that day thanks to a doctor's appointment. Thus I was locked outside for about 45 minutes. During this time I sat in my car.

And look! look! look! at the picture that accompanies the Des Moines Register article. That blue car you can just barely see on the right side of the picture? That is my car. That is totally my car.

After five minutes of standing outside, I said, "I'm going to my car. If any of you want to join me, that's cool too." Only one person obliged - someone I've known since elementary school.

Then it started raining. Two others joined - an acquaintance who had a locker next to me freshman year and a complete stranger.

But back to the Des Moines Register article. A few of us were noting during lunch that the headline is a little weird - "Drug dogs uncover possible pot at West Des Moines" - emphasis mine.

Drugs are one of the few things that can be discovered by investigators and still have some uncertainty. Is it really pot? they might ask. That doesn't apply to other evidence. Something like "Police discover alleged chair" or "Detective: 'This sort of looks like a gun'" would never happen.

It's for good reason they use "possible", I guess. I'm aware of one student who was escorted from the building during the lockdown - the police searched him after dogs indicated something might be in his locker. That something turned out to be a sandwich. (He was promptly escorted back to class. I can only imagine what I might say and later regret in that situation. "You guys want chips?")

I've now taken to referring to sandwiches as "alleged drugs". In fact I just had a couple for lunch. It was fantastic.

I can tell if anyone's ever seen the show Dexter's Laboratory by saying only three words: omelet du fromage.

I'm at play rehearsal as I write this. I've gone from spending my time at school to spending my time at school. I don't mind too terribly. It reminds me of this quote I heard once. I don't remember it exactly, but it was something like: "When I am busy, I grow tired; but if I do nothing, I grow very tired." I can relate.

On our cruise there was a Beatles tribute band. They weren't bad - they did a pretty decent job of covering the Beatles' career in a little over an hour - but there was one thing that threw me off a little bit.

Like most Beatles tribute bands, the members didn't just dress up and sing like John, Paul, George or Ringo - they tried to be John, Paul, George and Ringo. This meant a handful of in-character banter in between songs.

That was weird enough as it was. And then they started referring to modern occurrences. Paul had a rant about CDs vs. LPs. John ribbed Paul about his gigantic divorce settlement. Then this happened:

Paul: But really, it's good to be back. I bet it's especially good for you, John.
John: Ooh. That hurts, Paul.
Paul: I'm sure it did.

That's right: "Paul" was ribbing "John" for being assassinated. The audience laughed and smiled, and I thought: am I the only one who realizes how weird this is?

In terms of characterization, it was as if The Beatles from the 1960s discovered a time machine and found theirselves on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship. Imagine you're Paul in this situation. The world has changed a lot since the 60s. It turns out your band was one of the most influential of all time. The love of your life will pass away before you reach sixty. Your best friend will be assassinated at the age of 40. And don't even get started on all of the technological and social changes that've occurred.

And how will you react to all of this? You're having your own Rip Van Winkle moment - what are you going to do?

Smile. Laugh. Pick up a bass guitar. And, of course, play "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" for a bunch of tourists.