I told you so.

They say that crazy people are "off their nut". Also, a crazy person can be a "nut.

Examples:

"You nut!"
"What are you doing? You're off your nut!"

Therefore:
Sane people are on their nut. A nut is a crazy person. Therefore, sane people sit on crazy people.

You know, I think I'd go ride my bike now, but I'm too busy being angry at it for something bad it did.

Michael Jackson should stay away from this town.

If your parents were transgender, would they be trasnparents?

I went to my two year old cousin's birthday party. She had a cake in the shape of Elmo's head with all of the details (nose, eyes, little mouth, and so on).

Now, I don't know about you, but if I were a two-year old with an Elmo cake, I'd be a bit traumatized. First, I'd think, "Ooh, Elmo. And Elmo's sitting on the table! How nice!". Then, they would put the candles in Elmo's eyes.
"This is kind of scary. They're hurting Elmo! And they want me to spit on him? No, no. They just want me to stop the fire. Okay. I guess I'll do that."
Then, after I think it's all over (of course, after seeing the holes in Elmo's eyes left by the flaming torches), they would get out the knife, and start cutting Elmo, expecting me to help eat him.

It just makes me glad we don't make cakes of people and then eat them.

The song by Lenny Kravitz is true: once you dig in, you will find it coming out the other side.

There is something very wrong about
this invention. Most guys would be scared to death to hear a booming voice declare, "You there! You are making a right mess. Sit down and urinate."

On the other hand, this would be a great way to mess with the custodian's head.

You know, "arsenal" is a very funny word. Example:

"I have many weapons up my arsenal."

Ever see a man in his 70's rollerblade around a neighborhood block in about 3 minutes and 12 seconds? Everyone should.

Please welcome the first extention of this blog. It is called Shutter Up. It will be all pictures. It also has comments. Because you like comments.

"Teachers, please excuse the interruption, but there will be a short boys Chorus rehearsal after school," the intercom said today.

Personally, I don't understand why just the rehearsal is only for short boys.

lipglossqt4eva: hey...can you help me with spanish?
lipglossqt4eva: i mean english
tomamama29: hehe, sure.

Note: If you have a blog with Blogger, you may want to update it. You could be in for a pleasant surprise.

"Teachers and students," the intercom said to us today. "Our tech administrator says that the server has died."

My only thought at the time was, Great, now no one will be able to give us lunch monday, because they're dead. It was probably because I was having an off moment.

At a party I went to, there was a photographer. He had a camera. He took pictures. He also made you move to fit his perfect artistic vision. This involved telling you what to do, then grabbing you and molding you like a bendy stick figure.

In conclusion, and in hindsight: pedophiles and photographers may start with "p", but one should not be the other.

I'm convinced the people down at the cable channel TV Land are geniuses. Why? Well, during the finale of "Friends", you know what they showed? Cast members of TV Land watching "Friends". Really. It was live, they were showing them eating food, watching TV, and laughing and talking. That, in my opinion, is genius.

I called someone today-I told them that they had a typo on an important project of theirs and they had no access to a printer. I called the number, left a message.

In hindsight, as I thought about it more and more, I realize that I probably dialed the wrong number. So, some poor old woman in her 80's will check her normally bleak answering machine to hear:

"Hey, I was working on your project and I saw a typo. Is it supposed to say 'March' when you perform this in May? All right, call me back."

Words I have not spoken aloud today:

scarecrow
fingers
ouch
China
Sharpie
burn
hit

As you can see, I've also got little material today.

We noticed there was a rabbit outside of our house. This wasn't any rabbit. This rabbit was sitting there, moving its upper half foward, but its lower half was remaining on the ground, totally stationary.
"What should we do? It could have some disease," my Mom said to my Dad, who said, "We'll call the police."

Mintues later, the doorbell rings. I answer it. There at the door is a policeman.
"Rabbits," he greets me.
This took me by surprise. I hadn't known the backstory in the paragraph above, nor had I known we called the police. The only thing that's more surprising than a policeman showing up at your door is a policeman who greets you with "rabbits" at the door.
"Rabbits," I nearly said to him (as a greeting), but instead, I said, "One moment please."

I left the door open-usually, I close the door whenever we have someone waiting-they could steal something if you left it open. But instead, I decided this time that a policeman would probably not steal anything from us (unless he was after my lucky rabbit's foot as I suspected).
"Mom," I yelled down the hall. "The policeman's here...he's on some buisness about bunnies."

To make a long story short, the policeman enters, goes to the backyard, sees this rabbit, and so we call Animal Control. To be honest with you, I have no idea what was wrong with the rabbit, let alone with what happened to it. It's probably still sitting there in our backyard, waiting rolled over on its back for the nice people from Animal Control to put it back up again.

We went up to our lakehouse yesterday. For the past three years, we've had a plastic pink flamingo standing in our yard. Due to a recent hailstorm (so we think) there's been a hole in our pink flamingo, Bob. Personally, I like the idea of a parasitic creature living chewing a hole in the flamingo for shelter, but I never knew hail could break a hole in a pink flamingo so easily.

Please help Yes Maybe. He think's he's Passing for Sane again.

No pun intended.