The Hand-me-Down Clown!!

HAMSTER UPDATE!

Hamster found. Climbed in cage. Paddlock installed. Whooohooo.

Apparently, there's been a hamster escape in this household.
What makes the case even more interesting is that the cage was very tightly closed.
And the hamster cage was on a table about three feet tall.

Oh, by the way, the floor of the room the cage where the hamster is is tile.

All I can say is "thump".

I'm waiting for someone to scream now.

Let's say that your kid wants a 12 G.I. Joe 40th Anniversary Action Sailor Action Figure amazingly badly. Well, read this page and it'll tell you what to do.

Hmmm. That was all very cute. Now, what if they wanted a Blues Clues Portable Party Invitation Kit with Slide-Out Storage Tray? And that description is just as lovely as the last!

Hey, this is a bit odd. Those two descriptions look awfully the same. Let's try something different!

Now, let's say that your child wants an Avent Breast Pump Conversion Kit? You know your kid wanted one. It was just a crazy phase that all kids went through. Don't you remember the time you wanted an Avent Breast Pump Conversion Kit? I know I do. And guess what? According to this website, everyone seems to want one! I quote the website: "Who knows? Even some adults may enjoy the Avent Breast Pump Conversion kit".

(This is why, if you start your own shopping website, to have different descriptions on every page. Don't thank me.)

Ping Pong: A fun, yet painful sport.

Merry Christmas.
If you don't celebrate it, then continue your day as if you had not just read those two words.

Extra credit for anyone who knows what Soylent Green is made of.

How many times in a row can one person listen to the song "Stayin' Alive" before spontaneously combusting?

I is wishing of you nothing but a Merry Christmas! If you have not done a bad boy or girl, Santa bring you coal! Ho ho ho!

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 13. It may sound like fun, but it's politically incorrect to ask the people at the Chinese restraunt to sing "Deck the Halls" after watching "A Christmas Story".

My sister is watching Titanic.
"How does the movie end?" she asks.
"The guy dies," I say.
"How?" she asks.
My ingenius words:
"He drowns."

Pause.

"Oh," she says.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 12. Don't bother trying to trip someone in a wheelchair.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 11. Hats are not allowed in school. Not even Santa hats. No hats means no hats. Don't even bother trying.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 10. Try not to laugh at the word "ploughjoggers" whenever you read it (which is rare).

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 9. Don't laugh at the sign langauge interpretor at concerts, even if you think that they are just a random person who thought it would be fun to confuse the deaf.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 8. Ice is slippery.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 7. The song "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" has no line concerning, "please bring up the friggin' pudding", instead, "please bring us the figgy pudding".

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 6. Pester other people I know to update their blog.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 5. Putting your mouth right over the spout of the drinking fountain is wrong.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 4.5. Nobody knows the tune to "O, Holy Night". Not even the guy who wrote the song. And he's probably rolling over in his grave.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 4. Nobody knows the words to "O, Holy Night". Not even the guy who wrote the song. And he's probably dead.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 3. Whenever there's a woman cleaning out the men's room in any store or other buisness, always, always make sure they are supposed to be in there.

New Year's Resolutions (and notes)

No. 2. The Spice Channel has nothing to do with cooking, though it involves quite a bit of "heat".

New Year's Resolutions

No. 1 Try not to laugh at the term "guerilla warfare" in the middle of class.

Somehow, I was amused by this.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".

tomamama29: thinkgeek has a watch that detects nuclear presence
junebug67831: impressive
tomamama29: not nuclear presents, sadly
tomamama29: santa doesn't have those
tomamama29: or he might
tomamama29: according to jordan.
junebug67831: jordan would know
junebug67831: maybe jordan is santa
tomamama29: maybe
tomamama29: maybe he transforms into a jolly fat man over the break
with a beard.
junebug67831: yeah! that would be the perfect allis
tomamama29: yes
tomamama29: maybe ali (jordan's wife) is mrs. claus
junebug67831: hmmmm
junebug67831: yes, yes that could work
junebug67831: we should start dropping hints of what we want for X-mas to them and see if we get it
tomamama29: yes
tomamama29: i'll sit on his lap at lunch!
junebug67831: Good!
junebug67831: its all coming together
tomamama29: indeed it is
tomamama29: either that, or we're both falling apart
junebug67831: probably a combination of the two
tomamama29: yes
tomamama29: some assembly required
junebug67831: hehe
junebug67831: I wonder who their elves are
tomamama29: hmmmmm
junebug67831: well, holly for sure
tomamama29: of course
tomamama29: he decks the halls with her company
junebug67831: yes
tomamama29: i'll start droping hints to holly
junebug67831: nice
tomamama29: little things like, "where does the line to see santa start?" and "have you ever been on a flying reindeer?"
junebug67831: yeah, catch her off gaurd. She's sure to cave
tomamama29: but of course
tomamama29: uh oh
junebug67831: what?
tomamama29: i messed up the lighting for her one act
tomamama29: not good
junebug67831: looks like its coal for you
tomamama29: yes
tomamama29: jordan once said he was a god.
tomamama29: that may be true.
junebug67831: yeah
junebug67831: maybe santa is buhda in the off season
tomamama29: jordan sees me when I'm sleeping, he sees me when I'm awake
junebug67831: they have restraining orders for that kind of thing
tomamama29: yes
tomamama29: all I know is that I better watch out
junebug67831: and I better not pout