Some friends of mine have been on a field trip over the past few days, and they've picked up a new word.

Firkin.

You read it right. Firkin. When I first heard what they said, I was confused (to say at the least). Were they misquoting Dr. Evil or something? Could they not say the word "freaking"? Did they just make up a name and start shouting it out at the most inapropriate times?!

It turns out that this is really truly a word. The mysterious "firkin" actually means, according to Merriam-Webster...(oh, the tension!)

1 : a small wooden vessel or cask

So, let's try using that word in public.

Two guys are walking down the street, one of them being you, now known as Guy 1. Fine. You won't be known as Guy 1. You'll be Jim. I don't care if your name is Bob, or Steve, or Maeshal, you're gonna be Guy 1.

So, you, Guy 1 Steve, walking down the street, sees a man with what you might call:

"a small wooden vessel or cask"

He drops it, and you go to help him. "Excuse me," you say, "but did you drop your firkin?"
The man stares at you, slightly frightened, and he quivers at the sight of your face. "Ummm...." he says, obviously amazed by your new vocabulary word, "...what?!"

See?! People will think that you're soooooo cool thanks to firkin, they'll be confused!

Firkin; use it well, use it often.

Okay. If you've tried to IM me over the past few days, you'd probably notice that I've clocked in almost 4 days worth of hours on IMessenger. Why? I'm trying to break a record. Any challengers can step up...go ahead, see if you can beat 4 days, 4 hours and 5 minutes! (as of now)

When you were younger, you loved doing strange things to animals. You've put Fred the fish in a blender, you made Hammy the hamster sleep in his own poop for weeks, and you named your pit bull "Fluffy". (Fluffy later got revenge on you, but soon after, he "went to a better home".)

Or not.

But do you remember how you used to love to your pet bunny? Or not? Now, you can do that all on without causing those nasty, big men in the black suits from the ASPCA coming to you house. So, let's Poke the Bunny!!!!

Just keep in mind what Fluffy did to you.

An Online Conversation

inSan1ty qUeen: ohhhhhhhhohoho!
inSan1ty qUeen: netscape is evilnessnessness
tomamama29: hohoho!
tomamama29: french person laugh!
inSan1ty qUeen: lol
inSan1ty qUeen: i'm taking french.....
inSan1ty qUeen: je m'appelle corinne, et toi?
tomamama29: do they teach you how to laugh like a french person?
inSan1ty qUeen: lol not yet
inSan1ty qUeen: my french teacher is kinda psycho
tomamama29: hehe
inSan1ty qUeen: and she teaches the driving course at the school too....
inSan1ty qUeen: X_X
tomamama29: Excusez-moi, mais il regarde comme il y a des poissons dans votre pantalon.
inSan1ty qUeen: excuse me....um does it mean do you have my pants?
tomamama29: No
inSan1ty qUeen: oh
tomamama29: I used a translator
inSan1ty qUeen: pantalon....
tomamama29: a cheap online one
tomamama29: It's supposed to say "Excuse me, but it appears that there is a fish in your pants."